And now, the nominee for Best Place in the Universe ...

This year the readers' picks read like an ode to the Cove. It puts us in an odd position: Is something rotten in San Antonio or are we the very last to realize the all-inclusive greatness of the Cove? Last year, our critics sang sweet praises of the Cove for its versatility - Laundromat, carwash, eatery, and bar - variety and quality of food, and imports priced to please the thrifty. In the Best of 2004, the Cove took Best take out and eclectic, and made a strong showing in three other categories. Let no one cry BS without just cause, but this year the Cove is voted best in outdoor dining, eclectic dining, and vegetarian dining. It also took second in best restaurant to take a date and family restaurant, and was nominated for best place to buy art and kid-friendly park.

The Cove does indeed sell art, and at a reasonable price. We'll let someone else judge the quality, but we will offer this warning: Beware of buying art in the bat Cove, whose beer hall is dark even in the middle of the bright, shiny day. Best Place To Go Blind Trying To See Art? Not that there's anything wrong with a dimly lit bar, it certainly affords privacy - Best Place To Pick Your Nose And Stick It Under The Table While Looking At Art? We noticed a breath testing device hanging conveniently next to one of the objects d' art, and thought, aha, Best Place To Check Your Sobriety Before Buying Art!

Children visiting the Cove with their parents probably appreciate the wooden "playscape" out behind the bar, which features a tire swing and a slide. Yet, rather than the usual grass, wood chips, or rubber, the whole thing sits on a bed of small rocks. Best place to kneel in penance? We didn't see any ducks or train rides, but there was a sandbox, fodder for two new categories: Best After-Hour Scene For Feral Cats and Best Place To Find Hidden Treasure. And, with nary a tree or bush in sight, we considered Best Place To Hide From Nature. But best kid-friendly park? Naughty Cove!

We do not envy those who choose a vegetarian lifestyle in San Antonio, for the dining choices are somewhat slim, but it could be worse. What if the Cove really were the best vegetarian restaurant in San Antonio? In such a sad and unimaginative universe, the Cove would be culinary queen to king beef, offering only one alternative to flesh: "Let them eat fungus!" Of the six items offered under the vegetarian heading, the Cove menu lists only one that does not revolve around grilled portabella: a veggie burger with grilled mushrooms. Best place to get into a dietary rut? Best source of riboflavin?

We like the Cove for its friendly vibe - never a kinder greeting than from owners Sam and Lisa Asvestas - and their fish tacos have a special place in our collective hearts. Perhaps a crew of wholly contrite, psilocybin-loving customers with night vision voted the Cove best in these categories out of honest admiration. We wish they hadn't. A quirky Laundromat and carwash is certainly a part of what makes San Antonio a great city to live in, but voting it best place to buy art makes us all look a little silly.
— Susan Pagani